Best Friends

His fingers in my hair,
Lips on my cheek, my forehead,
Gentle, almost invisible,
Not meant for me.

Late nights, Disney movies,
Childhood relived
In the arms of a friend.
Mine, all mine.

His hands on my cheek, my waist
My fingers brushing through his curls,
We're moving closer, closer,
Always talking, listening, understanding
Then her name appears
And he is gone
Never mine at all.

Sharing sweet moments,
Alone together, wrapped up,
Cuddling on a bus, oblivious to anything
Outside our little bubble.
Lovers, or so it would seem,
Headed nowhere and everywhere
Anywhere with him, for him,
Anywhere at all
And then she's there,
And I'm not
Or maybe I never was.

But then, night falls,
And it's just us,
My head on his chest,
His arms around me,
Wrapped up, safe and warm,
Gentle, almost invisible,
The safest sleep,
Wishing the night would never end,
And counting down the days with a heavy heart
Until I must give up, yet again,
What was always, never mine.

Goodbyes are ignored for laughter,
Rolling down hills, a sword fight,
A pen tattoo, leaving his mark,
Temporary on skin,
Permanent on my heart,
Lying in the grass,
His face, hovering
Inches from mine,
So close, so very close,
Whispered secrets,
Only for me

Or maybe for her, too
But I can pretend.

His arms around me,
One last hug becomes ten, becomes twenty,
Becomes lying on the concrete,
Just looking,
Saying it all without saying a word,
And I know, this is it,
As good as it gets,
Except, not one bit of it is mine,
Because, as he says,
I'm no girl,
I'm his best friend.